I have heard many stories from my friends about what motivates them, what drive them nuts, what depress them. After hearing stories, often time I feel glad because my family let me grow well independently. Let me explain to you what I mean by this.
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I am wearing Vicki Long Statement Necklace from Micha Store
As I grew up, I saw many of my friends/relatives got beaten for doing something that their parents think is not right. My whole life, I never got beaten and I learned the soft and right way that things I do is right: I do my school work, I don't smoke, or drugs. etc. I found kids that grow up learning it themselves without any hard bruise may grow up better and happier.
Do you know my family? If you don't you only need to know how great they are to me and to other people. They care about you and most of the time they motivate you to the best of your ability, so you get out of the shell. They try to understand us, young people, and how we would behave to parents. They don't tell us to study study study, but they also appreciate what we do to the society.
Not too long ago, I just pulled the strings. When I was in high school, I was super lazy and I barely passed high school. The first time I landed in the U.S. I had no intention of doing well in school. It was merely trying to be that cool kid studying in the U.S., shop, and chill. Good times yea! But then I arrived at Fiefie (my aunt)'s house seeing a bunch of awards from her college, hearing that my uncle is a 4.0 student in college, and my other uncle graduated with multiple hard majors - now working in a great team/company. My family never told me I need to graduate with a 4.0 GPA, they did not set or speak up their expectation for me, but after I saw all that I thought I shouldn't be the failure in the family. They have set the bar high, I need to follow. Because of this, I gained my motivation to graduate and do well at school.
Another salute is for my aunt to call me everyday (almost) in college. I always complained to her how difficult the classes are. Even when I told her I got a 'C' in my first Oral Communication exam, she never told me I am useless or stupid or whatever you call it (being the Asian stereotypical). She always said "you'll do better, I'm sure you can do it" then "if you can't do it, then your classmates won't be able to do it, too", always reassured to me that everything is going to be alright and I will do well. I think those words are the power behind my motivation. If a flower is about to die, fertilize the soil and water it. In this case, the words are like water and fertilizer.
So, after my long lecture! All I want you to know is how powerful a family can be and how powerful family's words can be. It doesn't need to be family, but you don't motivate people when you say one is stupid, they need to work harder. The word stupid is deep and hurtful, you don't know if one may be stuck with the word and eventually sink. Of course you want to remind people to get back on track if they aren't, but make sure you do it the right and mature way. You want to motivate people in a positive way, with words that reassure that they CAN do it. Let the motivation be found by themselves, all you do is water the flower. Hope this helps you if you are currently on your way becoming an angel and motivator for someone!