being a part , falling apart

After years of becoming an energizer bunny, finally I reached the point where I can be unorganized, overwhelmed, and fainting. Honestly, I love it to be super busy.. Not that I am kepo (always want to do, know, act, everything), but I like it when myself being a part of something.. I love to know more about my circumstances and I love to put my feet in others' shoes. And it is never enough for me, an addiction.

Beginning when I was in senior high school, I have been so active everywhere, everytime, anywhere, anytime. I join debate, student organizations, student government, dance, and much more. Unexpectedly, when I was in Junior highschool I need to admit, I was a geek who always go home right after the bell rang: go home, eat, sleep. That WAS how I used to be, but now.. being energized and active is more like me. 

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forever 21 top and belt, black rivet coat, glitz skirt, unbranded shoes, claire's bow, mohair pear glasses

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Then until I realized, I am sophomore facing higher level of difficulties I feel that my life has become a scrambled egg-like. I fell asleep in classes, started to be disturbed from study easily. And it is complicated. I want to be a good student and on the other hand I really want to be active, feeding my addiction. But, it does not quite working hand in hand. 

I need to be a part, but now I am falling apart.. Can anyone help me? Pull me and say that I am Catherine and I never run out of energy. That's the premise right? Then what is wrong with me now?
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Simply because I am Catherine, I have this faith to myself that I am different. And slowly that faith is fading, I have also lost trusts from so many people. I am ordinary, really. It is too cold to cry outside, to realize that I am falling apart.. not because of love whatsoever, but because I am being me, wanting to have indefinite energy.

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Look at her? Isn't she different? No. She is the same, ordinary and she is falling apart. Like phoenix's feather that might look pretty for a moment, but then it falls apart.. then it dies. 
It is just like her, exactly like her faith.


Catherine Au Jong

CONVERSATION

12 comments:

  1. I'm not sure I understand you completely but just wanted to cheer you up. Never ever loose faith in yourself. No matter what others might tell you, no matter the circumstances. Follow your instincts. Remember when school is over and you get older you will realize time just flew by. Use your time wisely now. School will be over before you know it.
    Best of luck to you. It is hard to figure out what you want, but it is important that you do find out what your passion is and then you just follow it.

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  2. That title...

    Great skirt, the color is stunning. & remember, you have time to figure it out!

    xx - Lera

    http://perversebeauty.blogspot.com

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  3. You're almost same with me. I'm a busy (active) girl too. I have so much activities. and I love being busy, even though sometimes it makes me tired. the point is, we must arrange our schedule well, we can be busy, join a lot of things, but choose something that you're really interested in. so it won't be too much and won't make you that tired :). being an active girl doesn't always mean you must join lotss of activities, bcs when it's too much, it will ruin everything!
    hope this will help you! :)

    a little princess

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  4. really love the skirt, the color is very bright :)
    being active is great I think. I'm not typical active student, but every people is different right? :)

    answering your question : yupp, I'm regina pacis SHS student. do u know my school?

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  5. loove the skirt <33

    xx

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  6. that skirt is amazing. cute photos

    xoxo Monroe

    Fashion Steele NYC

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  7. your coat is STAND OUT

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  8. gorgeous skirt!!! you look sooo pretty!!

    katslovefashion.blogspot.com

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  9. stunning skirt, loving the color <3

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  10. such a lovely skirt! great blog!

    xx
    http://inanothercornerofparadise.blogspot.com/

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  11. Girll adore your skirt!!!! So lovely <3 Where are you from?

    Tam
    Word[Ad]Dict

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